Monday, August 18, 2008

A Deliberate Pursuit...

Life has come in and just completely taken over. This was said to me in a conversation I was having with someone last night. I can't get it out of my mind. I know it's because I relate. That's where I am right now. Days of feeling like I don't know which end is up. Last night I found myself over-reacting to a situation here at home. I've been quick to react in ways that aren't loving and kind. I am worn out and tired. Tired of doing, of thinking, of being.

Jesus, come and make yourself known to me. Right now, right here. I need peace and rest and the assurance that you are near.

I don't want life to just come and take over. I don't want life to just happen. I want to be a woman that lives an intentional life. I want Jesus to come and take over. I want my relationship with Him to affect everything about me. I want it to affect the way I live.

I want to thirst and hunger for God and God alone. There are so many things in the world today that are competing for the attention that I can only give to Him. I've learned that "things and stuff" can't satisfy my soul the way He can. One of my constant prayers over the years is for Him to give me a hunger and thirst for Him and His Word. I have been on my knees begging for a passionate heart and a desire to know Him more. I've learned to pray until He comes. Jesus always, always comes.

The most necessary and vital part of living an intentional life is the deliberate pursuit of knowing God. Sure, there are days, more than I would honestly like to admit, that I just don't feel like it. There are days when it's hard, where He feels so far away, and I feel disconnected. This has been a lesson learned of how I can't base my faith on my feelings. The truth is, it's an ongoing lesson. I have to go back to knowing what I know to be truth, of knowing the One who is Truth and what He says and thinks of me. His love for me, His compassion, His acceptance of me never changes. This I know to be true.

Pursuing God is when I am surrendering to Him and giving all of me to Him. Not just a little here and a little there. It's not just the parts of me that are doing well. It is ALL of me. The parts of me that are totally falling apart.

Pursuing God is worshipping Him for who He is, what He has done, and for what He will do.

Pursuing God means that I am cultivating spiritual disciplines in my life that are growing and changing me.

Pursuing God means that I am in fellowship with Him and learning more of who He is. It is desiring intimacy with Jesus and loving Him more.

Pursuing God is loving Him with my whole heart and accepting His steadfast love that draws me in and holds me close.

Psalm 73:25-26

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Life does happen. It's overwhelming, uncontrollable, unpredictable, and always changing. The truth is Jesus NEVER changes. That I can believe and find rest and peace in.

Living an intentional life requires that I am choosing to pursue God-passionately. It's saying "yes" to Him and letting other things go. An intentional life doesn't just happen. It requires work. It's about my relationship with the Lord and doing my part. It's living a life of purpose because He is my heart's true desire.


  1. I'm with ya! Great, great post!

  2. Thanks for sharing your heart, Christy :) You encourage all of us as you share your personal struggles and I think that each and every single one of us can relate to what you wrote.

  3. Christy~
    What a POWERFUL word!!! WOW...WOW...WOW...and I'm certain, your feelings, hit home to a lot fo folks...even me!!

    We MUST choose to live intentially....although hard, a price worth paying.

    I'm lifting you up in prayer!!

  4. Oh, Christy, how beautifully expressed! You're so right, our relationship with the Lord must be fostered intentionally ... and the enemy would like to throw every possible distraction our way to prevent it.

    Yet, we will deliberately seek Him. Every day, we will choose ... to serve Him (Joshua 24:15), to fear Him (Proverbs 1:29-33), to learn from Him (Proverbs 8:10), be befriend Him (James 4:4), and to love Him (Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27).

    And, why do we choose Him? Because He chose us (John 15:16). And blessed are those whom He chooses to draw near (Psalm 65:4).

    Oh, I have to stop now. I could keep going ... and going ... and going. I will CHOOSE to stop! :-)

    Monday blessings ...

  5. Great post! This is so true but like you said, it takes work. But SOOO worth it! Thanks!

  6. No truer words have ever been spoken! Thank you!

  7. That was beautifully written. Thanks for remeinded me to put Christ first, easier said than done. Sometimes I get so busy just getting through the day that I forget why I am even here in the first place, to try and make it back to Him somday. Thankyou

  8. Hi Christy, I think for most Americans pursuing God means pursuing the American dream. I always come back to "loving the Lord our God and our neighbor as ourself" and I'm reminded how many people don't even know their neighbors! sigh ... I love your post and how your shared your heart.
    So honest and what we mothers feel!

  9. Christy, I completely agree. Sometimes life gets us so exhausted, and we have nothing left to give our families. I am not sure why turning to God isn't always my first response, but I guess that's part of being human. Good reminder!

  10. It takes such strength of spirit (I know you may not feel that way at the moment) to share this. To say it as you do and have it speak to us all is a testimony to God. I know I feel like I let him down all the time...and it does take work and effort to forge yourself with him and not the world. So many things to call our attention away. I feel like I am being pulled by my dh, and my son, chores, errands, things that I selfishly want to time, if I just let that go for the time being and focused on Jesus...I bet the other things would fall into place. Am I right? Your name is thet title to one of my fave books.. God Bless You, Miss. Christy

  11. I stumbled upon your blog and was deeply inspired by your message. We are going through a long trial and your words are exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for being so humble and sharing your heart.

  12. Ahh....such wisdom you have shared with us. When I began my blog, I picked the title "In Passionate Pursuit" (since changed, but URL is the same) namely because that is my desire, but sometimes I (as in SELF) gets in the way of all that the Lord has for me on that journey. You have put a voice to what many of us struggle with...thanks for helping "sharpen my iron."


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