The Joy Dare

Many months have passed since my last post. The days that have flown by so quickly have been filled with good and needed changes, laughter, perseverance, trusting, tears, making memories, fun, and most of all, knowing God's faithfulness.

My heart has been stirring within to return to some of the things I have been neglecting and giving attention to- one being writing here on my blog.

Because I know that there are things that occupy much of my time, I thought I would start back again with something doable, attainable and fun.

So, I begin this month in which thankfulness is celebrated with taking the Joy Dare. For the next 30 days, I will be on the lookout, receive, and journal God's gifts to me.

Day 1 began with 3 gifts eaten. For dinner I went old school, comfort food... Salisbury Steak, Mashed Potatoes and Peas and Carrots. While the gift of nourishment and enjoyment of good food is something to take to heart, the gift I soaked in deepest was
knowing I was sitting around the table with the ones I love most.

Counting Them One By One

Grace has made it's way into every aspect of my life these last couple of months, and I know I will never be the same.

I lay my head upon my pillow at the end of the day and find myself saying the same thing each night,

"Lord, you have blessed us in ways again today that I never would have imagined. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you."

And so, the counting of the gifts, the graces He has lavished upon me, has continued.

178. A new place to call home.
181. Letting the tears come and fall upon a best friend's shoulder.
183. Artwork from our 2-year old niece, Anna Claire.
184. Jessica's happiness and excitement for everything new in her life.
186. BBQ's and Rodeos
187. Car rides with a new friend so that I can learn my way around.
190. Redeemed lives.
199. Dolphins
200. Biscuits and Blackberry Jam
207. The body of Christ.
211. That my story is HIStory.
212. Settling in.
215. New friendships for Sam and Ben.
219. Feeling peace instead of stress.
221. 16 years of marriage and learning what love really is.
228. Pedicures and lunch with a girlfriend.
229. The beauty of transformation.
231. Unexpected times of skyping with Jessica and seeing her sweet face.
232. Believing God.
233. The joy found in obedience.
235. Celebrating with a dear friend the news of her pregnancy.
236. Living in the country.
237. Passing the book "One Thousand Gifts" onto a friend so that she too, may begin to see the gifts that all around her.
238. New bibles.
239. Sunsets that paint the sky of His glory.

I am linking up to A Holy Experience counting my gifts with many others...

There's No Place Like Home

It's been a little over a week now that we moved and settled in our new home. I quickly began getting boxes unpacked, things put away, and making it feel like our home with personal things. There hasn't been a time of feeling like this was a new place to get used to. It's felt right from the beginning. It's felt like home.

We love it here. We've found a place of peace, excitement, and anticipation for what the Lord has in store. It's a place where there has been so much love and encouragement poured upon us. It's a place in which we carry the responsibility to serve, love and minister to a church family and surrounding region very humbly. It's a place where we know His faithfulness and provision.

We know the place to be the center of His will.

A NEW Beginning...

These last 6 weeks have been a very exciting time in our family. It has also been a time of change and transition and as I sit here this morning, I am in complete awe of how God's hand has covered, guided, supported, and moved us to where we are.

A dear friend of mine recently sent me a text saying, " Your journey has been long. You fought, prayed, trusted much, and you are now on the shores of your Promised Land."

Tomorrow a moving truck will be sitting in our driveway where we will load all of our belongings to fill a new home.

A new home in the south... Alabama.

My husband will be serving as lead pastor at a church in the area and as we have gone through this process, we have been completely overwhelmed with His timing and provision. We have taken what at times seemed like such small and insignificant steps, but as we have walked and trusted, they have been taken with so much faith and trust. In the end, aren't they often the ones that count the most?

My husband has reminded me and our children that the very best place to be is in the center of His will. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that this journey hasn't been hard and tiring. Even in the midst of the doubt or fear that sometimes crept in, I have known His peace in a way I never knew before. In many ways, I clearly see how He has prepared my heart for the new and exciting changes.

While we were in the middle of preparing for a new job and a move, our daughter, Jessica moved to her new home in Australia where she is attending Hillsong. She has made quite a journey these last couple of years as well. It's been a journey of waiting, trusting, pursuing and seeking hard after God. This is her time to grow and experience some amazing things and I couldn't be more proud or excited for her.

Last year, I claimed and held onto the verse Isaiah 43:18-19...

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Promised Land... here we come!

Catching Up...

It's a quiet Saturday morning so I thought I would take advantage of the time and do a little catching up here.

This past fall, the Lord began directing and orchestrating plans in our family that while we knew one day  were coming, we weren't "planning" on them at that time. He is so good though and as the days have turned into months now, we have seen and felt His hand moving us to where He wills us to be.

For the last four years, my husband has been on staff at the church where we have attended for the last 16 years. Going into ministry was a second career for him, and a calling in which he admits to running from for many years. Over the last four years, God has been building up and impressing on us both that the time would come for my husband to pursue a lead pastor position. As I said before though, in our timing and on our calendars, we still had... time.  If there is one thing that we learned when we made the decision to go into full-time ministry, when God tells and shows you it's time to move, you move!

This process has required something big of us. There is going to be so much that changes for our family, in particular a move from the community in which we have lived in for 16 years. So, this is very much a faith journey for our children as well.

While I know that our spiritual journey and our daily walk with Him is a constant lesson and pursuit- one in which He refines, grows, transforms, and stretches, I have never felt and known it to the depths like I have these last few years.

In whatever way it can, the pieces are coming together and all making sense.

His timing and faithfulness is unquestionable and I am finding and resting in His peace.

There are still times though that it catches me by surprise and I love that. It really and truly is the peace that passes ALL understanding.

I keep finding my self saying, "I don't want to ever lose or forget all these things that the Lord is showing me." It's life changing stuff and I know there is something I will and can be doing with what He has shown me.  It's humbled me, shown me how intensely personal my Savior is, and it has made me love Him even more.

Psalm 84:1-2

It's a question that I have been asking myself pretty frequently since the new year.

"How am I doing in this area of my life?" 
"And how about this one?" 
"Or this one?"

I suppose it's the reason I chose DISCIPLINE for my word of the year.

It's something that I want very much because I know there are some area in my life in which it is lacking.

I've had to be brutally honest and ask myself, "What are the things in my life that I am putting more importance on than God?" 

I see more and more how God desires relationship with me and that He wants me to experience and know success and victory. Because of the areas that I want to see growth and change in, discipline is going to be required of me.

When I looked the meaning of discipline up in the dictionary, one thing I was struck by was that discipline requires training. Several years ago when I was training for a marathon, the word discipline took on a whole new meaning for me.

I had to be disciplined in scheduling when I was going to run.
Discipline was required in the food I ate and the amount of sleep I got.
I had to be disciplined in my running schedule so that when it was time for the race, I would be able to run the distance.

The discipline wasn't there instantly, but it came in small steps - running a few minutes, then a mile, then two, and before I knew it, I was up to 20 miles.

From the moment I signed up for the race until the day I crossed the finish line, I was in training.

Isn't that the same on our spiritual journeys as well?

The discipline comes when we just start taking a step at a time, moment by moment of surrendering and holding on tightly to His hand. Oh,  how God shows up and gives us the strength and determination to see it through.

The discipline comes when there is a heart that says, "It's only You, Lord that I want!"

The discipline comes when the victory is worth so much more than continuing to live in a cycle of defeat or discouragement. We were made to have so much more than that, and I don't want to settle for anything else.

The discipline comes from allowing God to flood you with His grace and steadfast love. It's experiencing and knowing Him in every area of your life because there is nothing that is off limits for Him.

Often the word discipline would scare me. Probably because it was His holy voice that would whisper and nudge me to do something about the areas in which I lacked it. To be honest, I just was too stubborn and unwilling. I got comfortable and thought I could continue to ignore what the real issue was. I am recognizing more quickly when the enemy is trying to get me off course and distracted by thinking that there are things that can replace my longing and craving for God with other things.

While I am just beginning what I know will probably be one of the most significant journeys I take with the Lord, I already am feeling the change.

 I have  Psalm 84:1-2 sitting on my windowsill to remind me what my heart really should be longing for...

How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!

My soul longs, yes, faints, for the courts of the LORD;

my heart and flesh song for joy to the living God.

Really, why would I want anything else? 

Making Time For Him

These last couple of weeks were going to be "the" week. You know the one. The one in which determination and resolve set in to really, truly accomplish something you long to do. 

For me, it's wanting to get up early and spend time with the Lord. Rising before the sun is up, alarms going off telling it's time to get ready for school and work, demands and responsibilities of the day are still waiting to unfold, and all is silent and still. 

In all honesty, I am really struggling to make it happen. I feel like it's this constant struggle of wanting to, but when the early morning comes, laziness or selfishness always wins. 

As my day continues, I do have times of prayer, reading Scripture, or working on a Bible study. It's just that I know deep in my soul, that I am "fitting" this time in instead of giving Him my best- the time He deserves and the time my soul needs. 

While I know that He is not a taskmaster, and one that demands a certain time of the day in which I give to Him, I do know that He longs for the sweet fellowship with me even more than I do with Him.

I can be my own worst enemy and easily let guilt have it's way. This isn't the way that He wants me to live, I know that. It's just why do I struggle so? 

Maybe it's about establishing steps of obedience that require action on my part, knowing that my heart will follow. 

My word for the year is DISCIPLINE and this is just one area in particular that I desperately want to see fruit in. 

My heart is stirring and I believe that He is showing me how to move forward. How thankful I am once again for His grace and guidance. Most of all, that He loves me still.

Today, from Jesus Calling, I read...

"Let my love enfold you in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of my Presence, and receive My Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring Me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones."

Abandonment

We are snowed in today which is perfectly fine with me. As much as I don't care for cold, wintry days, there is something I do love about being snowed in. Perhaps it's the fact that I am a homebody at heart, and the weather today has given me the opportunity to be where I love.

This has been a really good week. One that brought unexpected surprises, moments of taking in the gifts He is giving me and heartfelt conversations. I have set my heart on pursuing Jesus and through that, He is impressing on me what true abandonment really is.

"Abandonment is practiced by CONTINUALLY losing your own will in the will of God; by plunging your will into the depths of His will, there to be lost forever!

What is abandonment? It is forgetting your past; it is leaving the future in His hands; it is devoting the present fully and completely to your Lord. Abandonment is being satisfied with the present moment, no matter what that moment contains. You are satisfied because you know that whatever that moment has, it contains- in that instant- God's eternal plan for you." -Jeanne Guyon ("Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ")


I love that.

I want to go the depths of Jesus. Seeking to know Him and being utterly abandoned to Him.

image found here.

My Word For The Year

I figured it was about time to do some catching up here on my blog. For whatever reason, I just have felt like I haven't had anything much to say and every time I would sit down to write, my mind would just go blank. The months of November and December were more busy than usual for our family, but things have finally slowed down, and our familiar routine is here once again. Thank goodness!

This new year began with such a great anticipation of thinking, dreaming, and hoping for all the things God has in store for me personally as well as our family. There is a stirring in my heart of knowing that this is going to be a year marked with adventure, new opportunities, and the desire for some deep spiritual growth.

I've never been one to make resolutions, but there are some goals that I have laid out for myself this year. As I was going back over my list of goals and praying through each of them, there seemed to be a word that kept coming to my mind. A word that would be very much needed for me to see these goals through ... DISCIPLINE.

The goals that I have listed are very important to me at this season in my life. Whether they are spiritual goals or the goal to diet and exercise, there is a resolve in me to get serious and be disciplined. For me, it's taking little steps that hopefully will produce significant growth and change in my life.

One thing that I am committing to doing this year is memorizing Scripture. This was a discipline that I  started doing this Fall and it truly gave me a new love for His word and the power it can have in my life. I began this year with a very familiar verse, but one in which I wanted to set the tone for this upcoming year.

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart. 

Jeremiah 29:13

Finding Peace

This past month has been a whirlwind of sorts. Funny though, because even in the midst of busyness, I have found peace.

The reason this peace catches be my surprise so much is that I don't do well with stress and hurried schedules. When I look at everything going on and things that need to be done, I should be feeling completely overwhelmed. I just thank God that He can come in and completely sweep me over with a peace and strength I can't possess on my own.

The Lord is taking me on another new journey and I keep thinking about how the traveling I've done over the past year or so, has prepared me for the place He is leading me to now. I am really excited and hopeful. I know that God's time-table is His alone, and I can fully believe Him to perfectly orchestrate every single detail. One of the most significant lessons I've learned in walking with the Lord is to embrace and enjoy every part of what He brings and where He takes me. I'll be honest though and say that it took me a long time to learn and accept this. A lot of surrendering, tears, and wrestling with God happened way before I could rest in and embrace where I was.

Truths I have believed before are finding their place in my heart once again as well as the new ones. The lesson that my faith requires action is what motivates me to cling tightly to Jesus knowing that I can trust Him with everything. What I have learned about God and His character in the past is the foundation for which can carry me through now.

So, with the coming of celebrating the Savior's birth, I will delight and rest in His peace.  I will let go of to-do lists and focus on the priorities. This Christmas will be about joy, simplicity, love, and the anticipation of all things to come.

Grace Upon Grace...

This is a post that was written in August 2008, but I am sharing it today and linking up to Chatting At The Sky.


In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. ~Ephesians 1:7-8

grace: getting a gift you don't deserve.

lavish : to expend or give in great amounts or without limit.

Today I am letting the truth that abundant amounts of grace has been given to me by a loving God. I've known the Lord for 17 years now, but there are times when I need to get back to the basics. I can get caught up in all the things around me, good things nonetheless, but I can find myself not living like I know this to be true.

God accepts me, loves me, has a plan for me, and will use me because of His great affection He has for me. I want my heart to rest and be home in His sweet grace.

I am learning that I can know Him but yet not live in grace. I can read my Bible, pray, go to church, memorize scripture, and do all the "things" you are supposed to do but not live in grace.

Sometimes I can't even wrap this simple mind of mine or my heart around the magnitude of this gift of grace that has been given to me. I don't know why God would continue to pour out, give in great amounts, with no limit, his grace on people who are so unworthy. He does, and we just need to know that it is so.

His grace is a gift that comes because we belong to Him. It is the loving, forgiving, redeeming and steadfast love He has for you and for me.

But because of his great love for us, God who is rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions- it is by grace you have been saved.
~ Ephesians 2:4-5

When I am a woman of grace, every area of my life is transformed. I can walk in peace and strength. I can have rest for my soul. Through His grace, I can love those around me well. Where there is grace there are hearts that have been tended to. I say "I am sorry, would you please forgive me?" Fun and laughter is going on because I'm more concerned about enjoying the moment than what I have to accomplish on my "to do" list. Where there is grace there are lots of hugs, kisses, and a listening ear.

I know this is a journey and hopefully as the days go by, His grace is more evident in me today than it was yesterday. I'm not perfect. I don't have to wear myself out trying to be. My part is to give myself to Him. Surrender to Him. Know Him. Love Him. There I will know His grace.

Grace Through My Eyes

Grace is what I rest in.

Love is full of grace.

Grace is what holds us together. 

Grace is in the beautiful.

I am linking up to Chatting At The Sky and the 31 Days of Grace.

God Is Able

As we gathered last night for the women's bible study I am leading, I was really needing to hear from God. Just that afternoon, my husband and I, along with our daughter had moved forward in a direction in which we were being led. I know that I am not giving much detail right now, the time will come for that I know, but this is a situation we are really excited and hopeful about. We are seeing a new resolve in the heart of our daughter and God is reminding me that His timing is perfect and He is holding her and her future in the palm of His hand. 

How this is all going to work out, we don't know. When I look at the circumstance, there is that part of me that believes it may be impossible. And the thing is, we don't even have all the information yet. I jump to conclusions and find that my prayers perhaps are not rooted in faith.

So, as we began our bible study last night, we turned in our bibles to Ephesians 3:20-21.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. 

God's timing in this message was far from coincidence. I was reminded last night of some very foundational truths that can alter the way I live, think, and pray.

Our God is ABLE and He is ABLE to surprise me in ways that I can't even imagine.

One of the most fantastic attributes about God is simply that HE CAN.

Ephesians 3:20 begins with a very simple word but with a significant purpose to act and believe...
NOW is the time for me to start considering the ABILITY of God.

I am encouraged and challenged to pray extravagantly because every heartfelt request I lay at His feet is heard. He knows our every need and our desire to be faithful and obedient as we move forward in faith. 

It's living the abundant life when in the midst of an impossible situation I turn and say, "Now is the time for me to believe that HE IS ABLE!"

(These concepts are from the bible study Faithful Abundant True)

Where I'll Be

School starts a week from tomorrow and I just can't believe the summer is over. This summer has been filled with vacation, resting and being lazy, celebrations, family, and a whole lot of fun. It's also been a season in which my heart has been revived. 

Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?

Psalm 85:6

I know that the next few months are going to require me to really be intentional about keeping my priorities in order and not allowing myself or our family to be controlled by our schedules and busyness.

I want to take these final days of summer to rest, regroup, and be in a place in which I am preparing my heart for the Lord to continue His work in me.

Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.

I give thanks to you, O LORD my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.

Psalm 86:11-12

See you soon...

My Journey

There has been a lot going on in my heart this week. I've been praying so hard for an awakening of my soul and to know and love the Lord like never before. He is answering because of this truth... He is a God that revives the heart. A verse that I have been memorizing and meditating on is "Break up your fallowed ground, for it is time to seek the Lord, till his righteousness comes and rains upon you. " (Hosea 10:12). I've spent this week breaking up some hard and barren ground in my spiritual life and as a result, I am experiencing a special time of refreshment that can only be found in His presence. 

These last two years have been a very difficult season for me. I've asked a lot of God because there was so much I didn't understand. I've spent some time in the desert, trodded along in the wilderness, and am now continuing my traveling to the land He has promised me. What I'm able to accept is that there is a divine purpose for where I've been. I just couldn't see it or believe it.

As I was journaling the other night, God revealed something very significant to me. It's one of those things that I thought I knew, but I suppose it needed to be real and fresh to me again. It was a moment of not just knowing God, but experiencing Him.

When the time is right, I know I will be sharing more. There is still a lot of heart work going on and it's all part of my journey.

Good Morning

Instead of writing in my journal this morning, I am sitting here drinking my iced coffee as my fingers type out the letters to what is going on in my heart.

Yesterday was a crummy day. I didn't feel well and there has been a circumstance in our life that is requiring a whole lot of faith, obedience, and perseverance.

I went to bed last night feeling emotionally and spiritually drained. I wear myself out when I once again, I focus on the circumstance instead of the One who is in control of everything.

This morning, I woke up to my husband sitting on the bed next to me. Before he went off to work, we sat and talked and I felt that glimmer of hope.  In our room where the sun was lighting up the room, I believed and knew that His mercies are new every morning.

God you are good and faithful. There hasn't been a time in my life when you haven't been.

As I go about the rhythms of life today, be the One who sets my heart on the truth that we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Keep my eyes on you, Jesus. On You.

Radiant

I want you to experience the riches of your salvation: the joy of being loved constantly and unconditionally. You make a practice of judging yourself, based on how you look or feel . If you like what you see in the mirror, you feel a bit more worthy of My love. When things are going smoothly and your performance seems adequate , you find it easier to believe you are My beloved child. When you feel discouraged, you tend to look inward so you can correct whatever is wrong.

Instead of trying to "fix" yourself, fix your gaze on Me, the Lover of your soul. Rather than using your energy to judge yourself, redirect it to praising Me. remember that I see you clothed in My righteousness, radiant in My perfect Love. ~ Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. ~ Psalm 34:5

What I'm Wearing

It is a passage of Scripture that as a woman, wife and mother, I have read many, many times. It is the all familiar passage that as women, we strive and long to be. The Proverbs 31 woman. We also know her as "the virtuous woman" or the "woman of noble character". There are two words within verse that I saw in a new way. 

They are the words strength and dignity.

And I am clothed with them.

What I saw with a set of fresh eyes, was a verse specifically speaking of a woman. So much of scripture is referenced to man (which please hear me, I have NO issue with), but here is a chapter in which the Author and Perfecter of our faith, has spoken of a "she". I read the words over and over again. "She is clothed with strength and dignity." Here I was, holding onto the sweet and powerful words of my Savior.  He knew what the journey of womanhood would be like. He knew what my journey would be.

There are days when I feel weak and defenseless. There are days when I think to myself, "I've blown it again, if only I were stronger." What I am realizing that instead of giving into the wave of feeling and believing I am weak, I can turn and set my eyes and heart on the truth that I am a woman who has the privilege of wearing strength, and divine strength at that, as a garment. 

I then began absorbing the truth that I possess dignity which means that I am worthy of respect. The reason I have dignity is simply because God Himself gave it to me. I want to be a woman who knows and understands how to apply the biblical concept of respect and dignity correctly. I hope to be a woman that earns it, instead of demanding or expecting it from others. I also don't want to ever lose sight of the fact that there is a great difference between holy dignity and pride.

Strength and dignity. It is a spiritual covering like nothing else. Knowing that I can wake up in the morning and clothe myself with that perfect pairing is exactly the kind of outfit I want to wear. 

Psalm 18:1-2 (The Message)

I love you GOD-

you make me strong.

GOD is bedrock under my feet,

the castle in which I live,

my rescuing knight.

My God- the high crag

where I run for dear life,

hiding behind the boulders,

safe in the granite hideout.

Psalm 119:33-40 (The Message)

God, teach me lessons for living so I can stay the course. 

Give me insight so I can do what you tell me-my whole life one long, obedient response.

Guide me down the road of your commandments; I love traveling this freeway! 

Give me a bent for your words of wisdom, and not for piling up loot. 

Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets,

invigorate me on the pilgrim way.

Affirm your promises to me- 

promises made to all that fear you.

Deflect the harsh words of my critics-

but what you say is always good.

See how hungry I am for your counsel;

preserve my life through your righteous ways!