These last couple of weeks were going to be "the" week. You know the one. The one in which determination and resolve set in to really, truly accomplish something you long to do.
For me, it's wanting to get up early and spend time with the Lord. Rising before the sun is up, alarms going off telling it's time to get ready for school and work, demands and responsibilities of the day are still waiting to unfold, and all is silent and still.
In all honesty, I am really struggling to make it happen. I feel like it's this constant struggle of wanting to, but when the early morning comes, laziness or selfishness always wins.
As my day continues, I do have times of prayer, reading Scripture, or working on a Bible study. It's just that I know deep in my soul, that I am "fitting" this time in instead of giving Him my best- the time He deserves and the time my soul needs.
While I know that He is not a taskmaster, and one that demands a certain time of the day in which I give to Him, I do know that He longs for the sweet fellowship with me even more than I do with Him.
I can be my own worst enemy and easily let guilt have it's way. This isn't the way that He wants me to live, I know that. It's just why do I struggle so?
Maybe it's about establishing steps of obedience that require action on my part, knowing that my heart will follow.
My word for the year is DISCIPLINE and this is just one area in particular that I desperately want to see fruit in.
My heart is stirring and I believe that He is showing me how to move forward. How thankful I am once again for His grace and guidance. Most of all, that He loves me still.
Today, from Jesus Calling, I read...
"Let my love enfold you in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of my Presence, and receive My Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring Me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones."