Tuesday, March 17, 2009

On My Mind...

All is quiet here at home because Jessica is out for a couple of hours and the boys are at baseball practice for a couple of hours. It's during these quiet moments that I often like to sit here at our computer and write. Although I so much prefer the pages of my well worn journal, the sound of the keyboard and being able to quickly get my words down in front of me is therapeutic somehow.

Right now, I just want to sit and write about things that are on my mind. My mind seems to be in this constant state of thinking things over lately. I sometimes will ask my husband what he is thinking about and his response will be, "Nothing." I reply, "Nothing at all?" in which he says, "Nope, nothing." I don't understand that. Kind of like I don't understand how he can fall asleep as soon as he lays his head on the pillow.

When I first began blogging last summer, it really was just a way for me to journal my thoughts. My sister and I also thought that if The Nester and her sister, Emily, from Chatting At The Sky could do this, so we could we. I don't know who we thought we were kidding on that one because The Nester outdoes my decorating any day and for Emily, gosh, she is just one of the most gifted writers out there in my opinion. Anyway, this blog really was just for me to journal the happenings in our family and my walk with Jesus. That's what it will also be. A place for me to share my heart.

What is on my mind these days? I am always thinking of our sweet Jessica who is preparing to leave this Fall to attend YWAM (Youth With A Mission). My mind goes from all the lists we have of things we need to buy and do to what really will that day be like when we take her to the airport and say our good-byes.

I've also begun making graduation party plans. More lists- food to serve, guests to invite, decorations, so many things to do. I love lists really but I am feeling like for once in my life they are taking over. Perhaps I am being to obsessive about this but I am determined to get this stuff done so that I am not a complete stress case come May.

I am thinking of the conversation I had with a friend today about what grace really is and what it looks like. She made the comment that for the first time in a really long time, she feels as if God is showing her everywhere what grace really is. I want to be walking so in step with my Savior that His grace is what I am breathing. What kind of people would we be if we put aside our differences, inadequacies, weaknesses, prejudices, and self righteous attitudes and just extended grace? We also talked about what it really means to meet people where they are, build not just relationships, but true, authentic friendships.

My mind goes from something spiritual and deep to thinking of how tomorrow is laundry day. I am also wondering how many errors there are in this post but for some reason, tonight, I just don't care. I told you my mind is all over these days. If you are still reading through this, thank you for bearing with me. This is nothing but a train wreck as my daughter would say.

As I put an end to this post and begin winding down for the night, I am thankful that God knows more of what is on my mind than I do. He knows my worries, concerns, and fears. He knows the mundane and simple things on my mind. He knows that I am really trying to hold every thought captive to Him. He knows that so much of the time all I am thinking is how can I praise you enough Jesus? He knows that there are some other things that I am just wrestling over with Him - thinking it through because He is molding me, growing me, and changing me. If I come out looking more like Him, that is all I want.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Christy,
    I have never commented on your blog (or very many blogs at all for that matter.) However, I have been consistently looking at them since the late summer last year, and yours and your sister's is definitely on my favorites list. I would love to have my own blog one day, I just need to find more time in the day first! Keep the great posts coming. They really make my day whenever I have time to catch up on them.


  3. I love going along with you on your walk with Him. You help keep me centered & remind me to keep my focus on Him as well.

  4. Okay...I read your post but not sure still what is on your mind...something deep...endearing...I know you will share when you want...
    sandy toe

  5. I love this post, because I can relate...I'm usually all over the place with my thoughts.

    "Meeting people where they are" is probably my favorite part of this. The world would be such a better place! Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful post.

  6. Um. What? Are you kidding me? Did you really just give me the best compliment EVAH? Girl. I'm speechless. You are my favorite person of the day.

    And? Don't you love how I made your post that mentioned me ALL ABOUT ME?


  7. Christy...that post truly moved me. To know that there are others - whom I feel are closer to Our Father - having the same thoughts, feelings and concerns as I have. Thank you for being so open in sharing yourself with us.

  8. First of all, let me just say that it's a guy thing, and yes, they really are thinking about absolutely nothing, and they like it that way (which by the way is probably why they can go to sleep as soon as their head hits the pillow!). Thanks for sharing your heart - or should I say your thoughts?! I, too, have felt like my head is a million places at once (especially the last couple of months!), and to be honest, I really don't know what's going on at any of those places! But I've decided that's ok - my only goal is to stay in the center of God's will every day, which quite frankly can be a very confusing (but wonderful!) place.

  9. that also happens to me more often that you can imagine.. i guess it's part of us especially when our brains wants to take a rest for a while.. let it go and it will revive by itself.. thanks for sharing..

  10. Just last night I stood in the kitchen and said to my husband, "I forget things, I mean, I forget things all the time. I just have so much stuff swimming around in my brain that I can't keep it all straight" I certainly can relate to your post, and to the part where most guys don't have the deep thoughts swimming around in thier heads that we have. Like you, I have a to do list in my head, and that constant conversation with the Holy Spirit going on as well... on top of that I am a day dreamer. Yeah, I am pretty much a mess :) Thanks for being real, Christy and sharing your heart.

  11. I am so glad that someone else's mind goes from something deep, spiritual and meaningful to the task of laundry! :) But isn't that life! God's grace is in everything good! Even the task of doing laundry! Now some might not agree with me that laundry is good, but wouldn't it be bad to walk around in dirty clothes! hee hee - Yes, even my washer and dryer are a gift from the Lord.

    You will be turning a page and beginning a new chapter in your life when you dear, sweet Jessica graduates and steps into this great big world. I know that God would say to you "well done you have raised this child I gave to you well..." The way you parent her now will be changed, but you will always be her mama. Just as God, no matter what our age is still our Father! OK, where is this response going?

    I love reading your posts and am thankful that by His grace, two ladies from two different towns, who otherwise might not ever have met this side of heaven, have become friends via blogland!

    God bless you friend!
    ~ K

  12. Thank you for sharing your heart. I can very much relate to this post. My mind is all over the place these days with so many things to thing about...everything from my health to our son's graduation party (right there with you!)...and I'm thankful God understands ALL of it! Your post once again reminded me of that.

    Have a lovely day!


  13. Oops...make that "think" about...not "thing" about! lol

  14. My turn to make the post all about me. And my sister. LOVE it when people know us both! And love us both!

    Heart you!

  15. So thankful for a God who listens and knows...your words are beautiful.

  16. I feel so many of the same things you are (minus the details) however, not able to communicate them as well as you just did. :o) Thank you for penning the words that I can identify with. Lately the Lord has been reminding me (around every bend) that as long as my mind is on Him, He will give me perfect peace. No kidding, I will have to stop and sit down and draw near to Him, because my mind will run over me otherwise.
    Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne


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