A few things that I have learned over these last several weeks and months is to stay rested and to not allow myself to stress out. Even though I had been warned and encouraged that these last few months of having a daughter graduate from high school would be tiring, I had no idea until I completely crashed and burned for two days last week. I am now feeling back to normal (whatever that is) and look forward to having this summer to rest, regroup, and relax.
I know that this summer, however, brings a lot of change. I am trying to honestly get my mind wrapped around all the changes that have presented themselves in my life right now and accept that change. I don't know that there has ever been so many big changes in my life before, or at least all at the same time like they are now. Jessica will be leaving in September to attend YWAM in Maui, Hawaii. She will be returning then in March 2010. What a difference our home will be like not having her here. My parents also made a move to Virginia a few days after Jessica's graduation. Up until this move, we have always lived within 15 minutes of each other. This is also the first big move for my parents as well. They are both from the Cincinnati area and for the last 40+ years have made Ohio their home. I think the process of this move has been somewhat easy to accept and embrace because they have no doubt that this is where God has led them. It's exciting to watch someone follow God. Once summer comes to an end and school days start again, I will be sending both of our boys to middle school (6th and 7th grade). For the umpteenth time, I am asking myself, "Where has the time gone?" One thing I do know is that I am going to have a lot of time on my hands. I have always been a stay at home mom for which I am so incredibly thankful. Now I am just wondering what I am supposed to do with my time while they are at school.
Even in the midst of all the changes and the stress that it can bring, I am so longing to find that place of being in God's presence again - to hear Him, talk to Him, and to find and have everything I need in Him. It's been somewhat of a struggle for me here recently, and I have allowed busyness, tiredness, and other things to take from that. God has been drawing my heart to His again. It's times like this when I just can't grasp His character. One of steadfast love, patience, and so full of grace. I can be so distracted by the cares of this world, caught up in my own little self, and not make my relationship with Him the priority it should be or want it to be. He always calls me back though. He is always there.
This summer I want to embrace the changes and allow them to grow me and transform me into the woman God wants me to be. I so want to purposeful about making memories and enjoy all the special moments. To live in the moments and have them really mean something. I want to find rest, joy, and to be a woman that surrenders to His holy ways.
