Life has come in and just completely taken over. This was said to me in a conversation I was having with someone last night. I can't get it out of my mind. I know it's because I relate. That's where I am right now. Days of feeling like I don't know which end is up. Last night I found myself over-reacting to a situation here at home. I've been quick to react in ways that aren't loving and kind. I am worn out and tired. Tired of doing, of thinking, of being.
Jesus, come and make yourself known to me. Right now, right here. I need peace and rest and the assurance that you are near.
I don't want life to just come and take over. I don't want life to just happen. I want to be a woman that lives an intentional life. I want Jesus to come and take over. I want my relationship with Him to affect everything about me. I want it to affect the way I live.
I want to thirst and hunger for God and God alone. There are so many things in the world today that are competing for the attention that I can only give to Him. I've learned that "things and stuff" can't satisfy my soul the way He can. One of my constant prayers over the years is for Him to give me a hunger and thirst for Him and His Word. I have been on my knees begging for a passionate heart and a desire to know Him more. I've learned to pray until He comes. Jesus always, always comes.
The most necessary and vital part of living an intentional life is the deliberate pursuit of knowing God. Sure, there are days, more than I would honestly like to admit, that I just don't feel like it. There are days when it's hard, where He feels so far away, and I feel disconnected. This has been a lesson learned of how I can't base my faith on my feelings. The truth is, it's an ongoing lesson. I have to go back to knowing what I know to be truth, of knowing the One who is Truth and what He says and thinks of me. His love for me, His compassion, His acceptance of me never changes. This I know to be true.
Pursuing God is when I am surrendering to Him and giving all of me to Him. Not just a little here and a little there. It's not just the parts of me that are doing well. It is ALL of me. The parts of me that are totally falling apart.
Pursuing God is worshipping Him for who He is, what He has done, and for what He will do.
Pursuing God means that I am cultivating spiritual disciplines in my life that are growing and changing me.
Pursuing God means that I am in fellowship with Him and learning more of who He is. It is desiring intimacy with Jesus and loving Him more.
Pursuing God is loving Him with my whole heart and accepting His steadfast love that draws me in and holds me close.
Psalm 73:25-26
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Life does happen. It's overwhelming, uncontrollable, unpredictable, and always changing. The truth is Jesus NEVER changes. That I can believe and find rest and peace in.
Living an intentional life requires that I am choosing to pursue God-passionately. It's saying "yes" to Him and letting other things go. An intentional life doesn't just happen. It requires work. It's about my relationship with the Lord and doing my part. It's living a life of purpose because He is my heart's true desire.