On My Mind...

All is quiet here at home because Jessica is out for a couple of hours and the boys are at baseball practice for a couple of hours. It's during these quiet moments that I often like to sit here at our computer and write. Although I so much prefer the pages of my well worn journal, the sound of the keyboard and being able to quickly get my words down in front of me is therapeutic somehow.

Right now, I just want to sit and write about things that are on my mind. My mind seems to be in this constant state of thinking things over lately. I sometimes will ask my husband what he is thinking about and his response will be, "Nothing." I reply, "Nothing at all?" in which he says, "Nope, nothing." I don't understand that. Kind of like I don't understand how he can fall asleep as soon as he lays his head on the pillow.

When I first began blogging last summer, it really was just a way for me to journal my thoughts. My sister and I also thought that if The Nester and her sister, Emily, from Chatting At The Sky could do this, so we could we. I don't know who we thought we were kidding on that one because The Nester outdoes my decorating any day and for Emily, gosh, she is just one of the most gifted writers out there in my opinion. Anyway, this blog really was just for me to journal the happenings in our family and my walk with Jesus. That's what it will also be. A place for me to share my heart.

What is on my mind these days? I am always thinking of our sweet Jessica who is preparing to leave this Fall to attend YWAM (Youth With A Mission). My mind goes from all the lists we have of things we need to buy and do to what really will that day be like when we take her to the airport and say our good-byes.

I've also begun making graduation party plans. More lists- food to serve, guests to invite, decorations, so many things to do. I love lists really but I am feeling like for once in my life they are taking over. Perhaps I am being to obsessive about this but I am determined to get this stuff done so that I am not a complete stress case come May.

I am thinking of the conversation I had with a friend today about what grace really is and what it looks like. She made the comment that for the first time in a really long time, she feels as if God is showing her everywhere what grace really is. I want to be walking so in step with my Savior that His grace is what I am breathing. What kind of people would we be if we put aside our differences, inadequacies, weaknesses, prejudices, and self righteous attitudes and just extended grace? We also talked about what it really means to meet people where they are, build not just relationships, but true, authentic friendships.

My mind goes from something spiritual and deep to thinking of how tomorrow is laundry day. I am also wondering how many errors there are in this post but for some reason, tonight, I just don't care. I told you my mind is all over these days. If you are still reading through this, thank you for bearing with me. This is nothing but a train wreck as my daughter would say.

As I put an end to this post and begin winding down for the night, I am thankful that God knows more of what is on my mind than I do. He knows my worries, concerns, and fears. He knows the mundane and simple things on my mind. He knows that I am really trying to hold every thought captive to Him. He knows that so much of the time all I am thinking is how can I praise you enough Jesus? He knows that there are some other things that I am just wrestling over with Him - thinking it through because He is molding me, growing me, and changing me. If I come out looking more like Him, that is all I want.